Musings on a Sick Day

I proved myself wrong when I woke up this morning and thought that I could power through my day. On walking into work and taking one look at the mass of tiny petri dishes who probably got me in this predicament I called in a sub. So here I sit typing this while watching Wendy Williams and waiting for my generic lemon flavored hot flu beverage to kick in.

Seriously… LOVE her.

Today Betsy Johnson is a guest on Wendy and I’m pretty sure she’s drunk. She’s also wearing leggings printed with black an white pictures of herself and her family, a over-sized red shirt, leopard belt,  and a blue plastic banana clip in her weave which resembles crazy Britney.

So this is OK…..?

…but this is Cray- Cray?

Betsy has proven to me that all things come back in style since all of her clothes look like Madonna’s Lucky Star video. This gives me hope for my pre-teen fashion choices.

Most popular girl in school.

In fact, I found a version of every piece of this   at our favorite store, American Apparel. It’s nice to finally be recognized as the trend setter I was.

Mom Jeans

 

Vest

 

Over-sized Plastic Glasses

 

I think my most interesting discovery today was not the mind blowing revelation that Paula Dean is a lifelong smoker as revealed to Dr. Oz, but a trip to the Redbox after picking up my Generi-Flu cold medicine where I found a gem called Zombies vs. Strippers. Just to prove I wasn’t in some sickness induced haze, I offer photo evidence. Pics or it didn’t happen, yo.

And the Oscar goes to….

Here’s the synopsis:

“A local strip club has seen better days. But tonight it’s going to get a whole lot worse. Spider has been losing money on his business for year. Now it’s finally getting the traffic that he’s always wanted, unfortunately most of his patrons are undead. With a sudden outbreak of the zombie virus, Vanilla, Bambi, and Sugar Hills deal with the disaster the way only a stripper can, as blood and braziers go flying.”

Before I committed $1.20 and 1:16 of my life to this fine piece of cinematic genius, I decided to do a little research. Obviously Z vs. S is playing at some smaller art house movie theaters because I’ve missed all the previews in the main stream theaters. The quality must be so stunning as to render even the most critical users of Rotten Tomatoes speechless because there were no reviews. I did find this Zombies Vs Strippers trailer on youtube:

These must be zombies in the ilk of Shawn of the Dead in which the zombies are hard to distinguish between humans living their day to day mundane lives as two of the zombies look like every guy I’ve ever seen in a strip club; eves fixed and glazed, hands in cupping or grabbing position, slight moaning. The only thing these zombies seem to be missing is the intense need to save one of these girls (surely working their way through college) and whisk her away to make an honest woman of her. Meanwhile the girls are kicking ass and taking names with some mad pole dancing skills. Seeing this trailer makes me pretty psyched about my decision to order that Groupon for 10 pole dancing classes as I will not be more prepared for a possible zombie apocalypse.

There seems to be some concern in the comments that people will confuse that people will get this movie confused with another called Zombie Strippers starring Jenna Jameson.

The production value on this movie seems a little better than ZvsS, with the acting being about the same. Here’s a sample of the dialogue:

Girl with Gun 1: Vat about zee girls. Zey are gude girls.

Girl with Gun 2: No… (dramatic pause)… they’re zombies.

Girl with Gun 1: No… Zey are streepers.

Girl with Gun 3: They’re… ZOMBIE STRIPPERS.

Riveting.

 

 

 

 

 

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