No I Really Am Worried About the British

I happened to see a list of the Top 20 Sexiest Men for 2012 as voted on by readers of British Glamour.  I have grave concerns about our brethren (sistren?) across the pond, my friends.  Here’s the Top 20:

The top 20 of (British) Glamour’s 50 Sexiest Men for 2012:

  1. Robert Pattinson
  2. Tom Hiddleston
  3. Johnny Depp
  4. Michael Fassbender
  5. Benedict Cumberbatch
  6. Robert Downey Jr.
  7. Taylor Lautner
  8. Paul Wesley
  9. James McAvoy
  10. Henry Cavill
  11. Cory Monteith
  12. Ian Somerhalder
  13. Ed Westwick
  14. Alexander Skarsgård
  15. Joe Manganiello
  16. Danny O’Donoghue
  17. Ryan Gosling
  18. Christian Bale
  19. Chris Hemsworth
  20. Tom Hardy

R. Pat is the sexiest man of 2012 accordng to the readers of British Glamour.  Chris Hemsworth (Thor!) is the 19th.  Alexander Skarsgard (Erik from TrueBlood) is the14th SEXIEST man of 2012 according to the readers of British Glamour, and Alcide from TrueBlood is 15th  sexiest.  We had to look several of these folks up.  I mean bad enough R “GloomLips” Pat as number one but Tom Hiddleston?  Yeah – had to look him up.  I knew I knew him (if you know what I mean) but I couldn’t picture him.

This is Tom Hiddleston: Image

Best known as Thor’s evil brother Loki.  Attractive in a “He’s probably quite interesting to talk to“ kind of way.  Don’t get me wrong, I’d do him… not a problem.  Boss Squee thinks Hiddleston is hot and reminds me that he’s 6’3”  Height does add to the sexiness quotient.

But he’s not this: Image

or this:Image

or this: Image

I would probably be arrested if I were in a room with those men – and they were dressed like that.  I do have some couth people.  Hemsworth has a shirt on in that picture, you say?  But it is open at the neck.  I can see his collarbone.  Arrested or at least they’d send an EMT or psych counselor.  Laws-a-mercy, my friends.  These men make me have secret lemonade (aka Lady Boner).

The fact that the above pictured are rated down in the teens while this Hiddleston is number two and this guy:

Benedict Cumberbatch: Image

is number 5  is a clear indicator that the British don’t actually know what sex is.  All these women took that “Close your eyes and think of Britain” thing too close to  heart.  They hear sex and they think of Britain so their sexiest men are the ones that make you go “Yup, Britiain.”  They even managed to get the Vampire Diaries brothers messed up.

Ian/Damian  Image is listed at 12.

While Paul/Stefan  Image    is listed at 8.

Paul/Stefan is GloomLips sleepier brother.  Ian/Damian could just say panties and we would hand them over.  We could then claim he hypnotized us into giving him our panties and all of womanhood would say “Yes.  Yes.  I bet he did do that.  Does he need my panties too?”

Here’s a 2nd Ian pic cuz you need to understand the power: Image

Also, Ian’s a dog lover! Squeee!  Again, I am not saying I wouldn’t do each and every man in the British Top 20.  I am a complete slut in my dreams.  Ok.  I admit, I’m not sure about Cumberbuns.  Lautner would have to show me his drivers license. Ed Westwick?  Cute in a “Really? He dates women?  Really?… You sure?” kinda way.  Danny O’Donaghue?  Well, I like the Script.  But really British people!  I look at this and think that there’s some ye olde British numbering system I don’t know about.  “Oh yes, 17 is 7-1 so he’s sixth.  One adds  2 to the 1s integer and 3 to the 2s integer when counting in single digits and so forth.  How do they teach you Yanks Maths?”

BossSquee cannot understand the appeal of James MacAvoy. Image

I can understand it.  I think he’s doable and he’s got his moments.  Again in a British, I’ll talk you into sex kind of way.  Alcide/Hemsworth/Erik can grunt their way into my pants (heart).  I mean heart.

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3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. squee1313
    Oct 05, 2012 @ 00:33:14

    I guess there’s something to be said for the accent. That could loosen the elastic on my underdrawers for a lot of these guys…but not Macavoy. He would say panties and i would just giggle. If he said it again I would tell him to “Stop, just stop. No really. Stop already.”

    Reply

  2. A
    Oct 17, 2012 @ 11:31:43

    Aside from Pattinson, I think the British dudes like Hiddleston, Mcavoy and Cumberbatch are not listed there because of their looks at all. They’re sexy because they’re classically-trained, sophisticated and intelligent actors that are way more than eye-candies. They’re not famous because they’re famous, they’re famous because they’re great at what they do. And that I think is a thing to be lauded in Hollywood.

    Reply

  3. kimtastic7878
    Oct 23, 2012 @ 19:23:10

    Hiddleston and Cumberbatch would make great names for bumbling villains in a kids story about run away puppies.

    Reply

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