Top 3 Squees for 2012: Movies

Part two in our 2012 retrospective.

From Squee1313:

Movies were off for me this year. There was no Matrix or Moulin Rouge that tilted the axis of my world. Okay, Magic Mike might have tilted something, but that’s personal and not appropriate for discussion on a public forum. I have a feeling the best are being saved for last, like Zero Dark Thirty and Django Unchained. I haven’t seen Argo yet, or Ted and I think I will really like both of them.

Instead of “Best of 2012” I think I’ll call my section: Three Movies My Husband Watched with Me All the Way to the End Without Falling Asleep. If you knew my husband, you would understand what a compliment that is to any movie.

The Avengers. Written and Directed by Joss Whedon. Need I say more? Yes? Okay. The Hulk beats Loki nearly to death in one of the awesomest fight scenes I’ve ever seen. It’s chock full of hot dudes. I made my guys take me to see it for my Mother’s Day present this year.

Cabin in the Woods. Also written by Joss Whedon. Yes, I have a thing for Joss. I mean, this Blog is called “Squee” because that’s the sound fangirls make and Joss Whedon is the Dumbledore, Gandalf, and Obi-Wan of all fangirls and fanboys. I knew this movie had a twist. I did not expect it. The satire (Yes, Satire!) the sense of humor– it surprised me to the very end.

I avoided going with Hunger Games for my third choice because I knew it would be mentioned elsewhere in this blog. Instead, I’m going to recommend the third movie my husband watched with me to the end without falling asleep.

Lawless, starring Tom Hardy and Shia Lebouf. I have a bit of a crush on Tom Hardy right now and to be honest, his role in this movie was not great stretch for him. He was the tough silent type throughout, and he’s very good at being the tough, silent type (See the Warrior). And despite Transformers, I like Shia Lebouf. I have since the days he was on Even Stevens on the Disney Chanel. He was a little kid then and out-acted everyone on that show. This movie also has Guy Pearce, playing the nasty bad guy. Have you noticed Guy Pearce is really good at playing nasty bad guys? (See Count of Monte Cristo and L.A. Confidential). And it has Gary Oldman, on whom I have an old dude crush.

From CDSquee

As to my movie bona fides: I have watched films by Jim Jarmusch and David Lynch. I saw the Cook, the Thief, His Wife & Her Lover in the theater. I saw the Vanishing in the original French BEFORE it got remade with a stupidly American ending. I also adore old movies. Go see Destry Rides Again and Arsenic and Old Lace and don’t laugh out loud. Cannot be done. With that said:

Preamble: This is a hard one for me. I love movies but I also tend to see nothing but animated kids’ movies or big “boy they blowed up real good” movies in the theater. At home, I have a hard time making it through a metaphorical dissection of modern family life in India blah blah blah. I used to watch these but now I have 3 kids, 2 dogs, a husband and a house to manage. Thank god that HBO reruns its documentaries on weekend mornings when my mind still works.

1. Les Miserables. Saw it last night. Went home and told hubby that I had a tear headache and he replied: “You did hear the title, right?” Anne Hathaway deserves an Oscar for one song. So does Hugh. But oy vey, the extreme close ups were a bit much.

2. The Hunger Games. So rarely does a movie adaptation do justice to a novel that it has to go up here. I still remember my heart pounding during the reaping scene. Well played movie makers. Well played.

3. See now it gets hard. Skyfall? Nice way to roll out a new crew, well done background on Bond and M. The Avengers? Soooo much fun. The family walked out happy and excited and reliving fun moments and I felt like I was twelve again. Well, I’m gonna go out on a limb here with Brave. Yes. Brave. A badass Princess as the main character. What’s it about. Her relationship with her mother. Saving her mother. And it was exciting and fun and no handsome hero swoops in to save the day. Plus they had Scottish accents and red hair.

From Merryangler:

1. Cloud Atlas. Yeah, I know this movie is at the top of quite a few lists for the Worst movie of 2012. I don’t care. I think it’s because I went into the theater thinking I wouldn’t like it at all that "Cloud Atlas" ranks so high with me. I get why people hate it. If I’d seen it on another day, in another mood or frame of mind, I’d probably be one of those people. Some of it was awful, but quite a bit of it was amazing. For whatever reason, I enjoyed being confused by this movie.

2. Looper. 2012 was the year I learned to love Joseph Gordon-Levitt. I’ve always thought he’s a good actor. After seeing 3 of his movies on the big screen this year, I realize I want him to be in every movie. I liked "Lincoln" a lot, even though there weren’t any vampires and not enough of Joseph. "Premium Rush" was a wonderful summer flick that made riding a bike much more exciting than I ever though it could be. But this time-jumping mobster assassins movie was the best of the Gordon-Levitt features. (Who hasn’t wanted to kill their younger self?) I’m still never going to be able to remember the order of all Joe’s names.

3. Argo. I knew what would happen, and "Argo" was still a suspense-filled thriller. (And the hair and clothes were truly terrifying!) So kudos, Mr. Affleck. My only regret is that a trailer for the fake movie wasn’t included in the credits, because it sounded awesome!

From Kimtastic:

1. Bernie.

When I heard a movie existed for which Jack Black received a Golden Globe nomination, I thought with morbid curiosity and doubt- I’ll have to see that for myself. You see I find Jack Black to be a bit of an over-actor, cut from the same cloth as Jim Carey. Ridiculous facial expressions, horrible line delivery, irritating characters. But like The Truman Show made Carey annoying, Bernie make Jack Black shine.

Bernie is the true story of a funeral director in Carthage, TX, hometown of Hottie McHotness himself, Matthew McCaughey. Bernie is the nicest guy in town, making funerals almost pleasant for the grieving. He sings in the church choir, is active in the community, helps old ladies across the street- that kind of nice. So nice, that the residents of this tiny Texas town don’t even care that he may or may not be a homosexual. Anyway, the whole town is amazed when Bernie befriends the town bitch, Marjorie (Shirley McClaine). Some suspect they’re having a relationship; pessimist D.A. Danny Buck reckons Bernie enjoyed the lavish lifestyle she provided him because she was filthy rich. (On a side note, check out the make-up they put on MM, he looks like he’s got two wads of chaw in his lower lip. Tell your men that if dipping makes McC look gross, then his average looking ass doesn’t stand a chance of looking cool, no matter how much he thinks it makes him look like a sexy cowboy or a professional baseball player.) Anyway, Bernie is such a nice guy and Marj is such a hated B, no one in the town can believe that he would shoot her point blank and put her body in her own deep freeze in the garage, even after Bernie makes a sobbing confession. Now this is no horror flick, it’s a dark comedy, so don’t worry about gruesome dismemberment or haunting music. In fact much of the music in this movie is Jack Black singing gospel tunes, reminding me that he actually has a lovely voice, and also that he used to be (still is?) in Tenacious D and sang songs like Fuck Her Gently. Now he hosts the Kid’s Choice Awards on Nickelodeon. Le Sigh. I hope to see more of these choices in script picking from Jack Black/his agent.

Oh and the movie is peppered with interviews from colorful local townspeople. See if you can figure out which on is McCaughey’s mom before the credits roll.

2. Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter

I saw this one with Squee1313 and it was the most awesome waste of $10 ever. This movie was so bad it was good, in contrast to Sherlock Holmes 2, rented several months earlier, which wasn’t even worth the $1 from the Redbox. And it all makes sense- of course Lincoln was a tortured soul, his mother was killed by a vampire while he watched! The monstrosity of slavery- how could humans, with consciences and souls, inflict such brutality on another? Why they weren’t human at all, they were vampires! Seriously, what’s more badass than swinging around a giant axe? Um, nothing, except swinging a giant axe with a gun in the handle. And not to take anything away from the immensely talented Daniel Day Lewis (I mean really, he’s so freakin amazing) but this version of the story was way more entertaining than the "real" one. Change the history books!!!

3. The Hunger Games

Of course. I love love love the books. Of course I loved the movie. And I have total lady wood for Jennifer Lawerence. I did notice that my friends who saw the movie after reading the book had a much deeper understanding of what was going on, like we all read between the lines… of the film… Um… Did they get everything right? No. Katniss’s interview dress could have been way cooler and they didn’t play up the relationship between Katniss and Peeta enough to make the non-readers understand (or so I heard, pick up a book people!). I saw it twice. I might see it again. Because I can.

Honorable Mention: Magic Mike

Channing Tatum dry humping the stage half naked. That is all.

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. sashabella
    Jan 04, 2013 @ 18:44:14

    Your honorable mention made me laugh. Good choices! =]

    Reply

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