This Is Not Squee.

Awhile back, we had a post about being interrupted while reading. 

Here it is: 

Today, I experienced an altogether new “Leave me the F$#% alone, I’m reading” moment.  Rushed off to a restaurant to get some takeout.  Not fast fast food – but semi-fast food.  Got my drink and sat at a table to wait so pulled out my book.

An Aside:  As a reader, I am NEVER without a book of some sort and in one or more forms.  Yes, I carry a kindle, an ipad, and a paperback.  One must be prepared for emergencies.  Also, I have kindle for my phone.  Today, I pulled out the paperback.

Anyways, I read one sentence and realize that a woman is standing over me.  Okaaay.

Me: Smile. 

[Real Me: What the @#$? Leave me alone.  I do not want to sell Amway or Mary Kay.  I do not have a moment.  Leave me alone. Or do you want money?  Leave me alone.  Is this a Jesus thing?  Leave me alone.  Jesus wants me to read for the five minutes til my fries are done.]

The Interrupter:  Hi.  I just wrote a book and I’m marketing it.  Here’s a flyer.  It’s about some personal stories and ways we can improve our lives… we  can’t rely on the government for everything and fathers should be raising their kids…

Me: Smile & Nod. Oh, yes, that’s nice.  Takes Flyer.

[Real Me: Unh hunh.  My father did raise me and my husband does raise his kids so can we be done now?  How long do I have to read this printout before I can fold it up?  This isn’t even Amazon.]

The Interrupter: I may even have a book signing so – more words[finally leaves]

Me: [Peruses flyer long enough to be respectful; Folds it and stuffs it into the paperback and starts to read again.  Yay!]

The Interrupter: [Stands Over Me Again.  Holding the Book.] Here’s “The Book.”  This is a poem my husband wrote in 9th grade.  We’ve been together for 3000 years and when we first got together, I told him to save this (even though he had clearly already been saving it) because I just knew…

Me: Smile. Oh. [Takes “The Book.” It’s open to “The Poem”]

[Real Me: Do I now have to read this fricking poem?  Do I have to critique it? Sigh.  Read poem.  Get tired of reading poem by line 4 out of 20.  It’s about walking and being tired or some shit.]

The Interrupter:  It’s a metaphorical walk.

Me: That’s great.

[Real Me: Are you annoying or cray-cray?]

The Interrupter: wanders away

My order is ready.  I close my book.  I really enjoyed that sentence.



3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Jean
    Jan 18, 2013 @ 22:48:13



  2. Elizabeth
    Jan 24, 2013 @ 17:18:45

    Wow. That’s beyond annoying!


  3. noemibetancourt
    Feb 18, 2013 @ 00:57:09

    Talk about rude! It’s too bad they didn’t have any candles on the table but then I’m not sure if you’d decided to set the book on fire she would even get the hint.


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